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The Bloggess – Like Mother Teresa, only better.

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2014

Thank you.original ↗
27 Mar 2014
Choosing life insurance is like gambling, but you never know if you win because you’re dead.original ↗
26 Mar 2014
Pimp out your shit. Not literally though. Unless you’re selling feces. Then you might have a problem.original ↗
25 Mar 2014
Say no to bullshit.original ↗
23 Mar 2014
It might just be me.original ↗
21 Mar 2014
It takes a lot to faze me. Consider me fazed.original ↗
19 Mar 2014
My search results terrify me.original ↗
18 Mar 2014
Not fit for decent society.original ↗
16 Mar 2014
Sheep are dangerous to nipplesoriginal ↗
13 Mar 2014
Men don’t understand cravings.original ↗
11 Mar 2014
This made more sense when I was unconscious.original ↗
9 Mar 2014
Dogs love (to eat) meoriginal ↗
6 Mar 2014
Victor is very lucky. He might disagree about that.original ↗
6 Mar 2014
I’m not sure if that says more about me or about Jesusoriginal ↗
4 Mar 2014
So, yeah…original ↗
3 Mar 2014
Worst. Pet Shop. Ever.original ↗
2 Mar 2014
Werewolves never get mosquito bites.original ↗
28 Feb 2014
Nothing Rhymes With Peculiar.original ↗
25 Feb 2014
Socks will kill you.original ↗
23 Feb 2014
The sound of laughteroriginal ↗
20 Feb 2014
I suspect you’re all just messing with me now.original ↗
18 Feb 2014
Someone’s gonna need a tetanus shot.original ↗
16 Feb 2014
Fuck Valentine’s Dayoriginal ↗
14 Feb 2014
Throwback Thursdayoriginal ↗
13 Feb 2014
Some people say that drinking from a slipper is a great honor. They probably weren’t drinking Mountain Dew out of an Ugg though.original ↗
11 Feb 2014
If wishes were horses then there would be a lot more shit in the street.original ↗
9 Feb 2014
All I want for Christmas is a drawer of sheeporiginal ↗
6 Feb 2014
Fuck you, Ms. Johnson.original ↗
5 Feb 2014
Strangest search terms of the weekoriginal ↗
3 Feb 2014
That’s what cats are for.original ↗
30 Jan 2014
A change of mind. Or heart. One of those organs.original ↗
28 Jan 2014
Well, *that* doesn’t bode well.original ↗
26 Jan 2014
My heroes have always been mice. And dogs.original ↗
24 Jan 2014
You guys scare me. And amuse me. And then scare me again.original ↗
22 Jan 2014
Cats never get insomnia, the furry bastards.original ↗
21 Jan 2014
I’d kill everyone just out of spite, but I’m possibly too old and might break a hip.original ↗
19 Jan 2014
Strange and beautiful.original ↗
17 Jan 2014
I’LL HELP YOU.original ↗
16 Jan 2014
Not a real post, but still quite important.original ↗
14 Jan 2014
Horrible, wonderful taxidermy. Someone up there likes me. And hates Victor.original ↗
13 Jan 2014
UPDATED: The lion and the unicorn were fighting for the crown. And for my heart.original ↗
10 Jan 2014
“Soon” never comes.original ↗
9 Jan 2014
I apologize in advance.original ↗
8 Jan 2014
RIP, normal conversations.original ↗
6 Jan 2014
The meemaw effectoriginal ↗
4 Jan 2014
Too many questions.original ↗
3 Jan 2014
Confessionsoriginal ↗
1 Jan 2014

2013

Drop the possum.original ↗
30 Dec 2013
And then we were 40.original ↗
27 Dec 2013
This isn’t a real postoriginal ↗
25 Dec 2013
Holidays can be rough. Especially for the little ones. And by “little ones” I mean “my cats”.original ↗
22 Dec 2013
I don’t think. I feel.original ↗
19 Dec 2013
Sometimesoriginal ↗
17 Dec 2013
It’s beginning to look a lot like I’ll be stabbing people accidentally.original ↗
15 Dec 2013
Best present ever. Worst present Ever.original ↗
11 Dec 2013
Jesus would probably think this was hilarious. Or he’d drown us.original ↗
10 Dec 2013
Haters gonna get vagina-punchedoriginal ↗
8 Dec 2013
Not much of a surprise, really.original ↗
6 Dec 2013
Accidentally doing good things.original ↗
3 Dec 2013
Spellcheck is a lie.original ↗
2 Dec 2013
I’m going to make a t-shirt for Victor that says “You’re doing it wrong.” It would save him so much time.original ↗
1 Dec 2013
Who are you?original ↗
27 Nov 2013
Huh.original ↗
26 Nov 2013
I can’t go back to prison.original ↗
25 Nov 2013
And that’s why you should never read over someone else’s shoulder.original ↗
24 Nov 2013
I assure you, that was not my nipple.original ↗
21 Nov 2013
I BLAME THE BLOGGESSoriginal ↗
19 Nov 2013
I suspect Australia is starting to doubt extending the invitation.original ↗
17 Nov 2013
Fucking shit uporiginal ↗
11 Nov 2013
Huhoriginal ↗
7 Nov 2013
Build-a-Bear probably doesn’t like me, but in fairness, they’re kind of asking for it.original ↗
6 Nov 2013
Technically, the cat started it.original ↗
4 Nov 2013
Lost in Translationoriginal ↗
1 Nov 2013
Who’s the boss?original ↗
31 Oct 2013
Halloween, a bit earlyoriginal ↗
31 Oct 2013
Two years agooriginal ↗
30 Oct 2013
I’m so muscular science is concerned.original ↗
29 Oct 2013
Victor says squid-latin doesn’t exist but I think it’s just that he’s bad at languages.original ↗
27 Oct 2013
We won!original ↗
25 Oct 2013
Where I am right noworiginal ↗
23 Oct 2013
This doesn’t make sense because you’re conscious.original ↗
22 Oct 2013
STITTING: You can’t do it and your cats can’t stop bragging about it.original ↗
21 Oct 2013
Dress your cats up with heroin.original ↗
17 Oct 2013
I don’t really post this much about any other holiday, but Halloween is made of edible glitter so feel free to ignore me if you disagree.original ↗
16 Oct 2013
It’s a vicious circleoriginal ↗
13 Oct 2013
This seems like big news but it’s really not.original ↗
12 Oct 2013
It’s like a battle for who’s geekiest.original ↗
10 Oct 2013
I’m probably going to get yelled at for this.original ↗
9 Oct 2013
This could have been a very sad post, but instead it was just sort of sadly amusing.original ↗
7 Oct 2013
We are the Governmentoriginal ↗
3 Oct 2013
So. Yeah.original ↗
2 Oct 2013
Oh, hell yes.original ↗
30 Sept 2013
I bet that truck is stickyoriginal ↗
29 Sept 2013
I miss you already.original ↗
26 Sept 2013
I want to apologize to Australia in advanceoriginal ↗
23 Sept 2013
It doesn’t take much to make me happy.original ↗
17 Sept 2013
Saw this and thought of youoriginal ↗
15 Sept 2013
None of you are allowed to have monkeys.original ↗
12 Sept 2013
Something about September…original ↗
9 Sept 2013
From a distance…original ↗
8 Sept 2013
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