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The Bloggess – Like Mother Teresa, only better.

thebloggess.com

2013

Animals want to murder you. Also, I might need to up my medications.original ↗
7 Mar 2013
I don't usually post about my cat that much. Wait. Yes, I do.original ↗
6 Mar 2013
And that's why I'm not allowed to be here unsupervisedoriginal ↗
5 Mar 2013
We're all going to Hell, but at least we'll be together.original ↗
2 Mar 2013
Shit I found on my phoneoriginal ↗
1 Mar 2013
Well, that's embarrassing.original ↗
27 Feb 2013
This is what happens when your coworkers are all cats.original ↗
25 Feb 2013
Burdle is a real word. Don't question me, spellcheck.original ↗
24 Feb 2013
Bradley Cooper and my vaginaoriginal ↗
21 Feb 2013
Xanax makes me a better mom. Because it's Xanax. Now fuck off.original ↗
19 Feb 2013
It's part post and part pimporiginal ↗
19 Feb 2013
Gravity's still workingoriginal ↗
17 Feb 2013
HOLY SHIT, WHY IS THERE A THREE-INCH WHITE HAIR ON MY FOREHEAD?original ↗
14 Feb 2013
Twitter is confusingoriginal ↗
12 Feb 2013
BUY MY BIRDFEEDERSoriginal ↗
11 Feb 2013
Shall I compare you to a summer's eve?original ↗
8 Feb 2013
Truth in advertising. (Warning: If taxidermy creeps you out you probably shouldn't be here at all.)original ↗
5 Feb 2013
Let's Pretend This Never Happened Paperback Touroriginal ↗
4 Feb 2013
And now I can't unsee it. And neither can you.original ↗
2 Feb 2013
FACT: Books smell better than french fries.original ↗
1 Feb 2013
And that's why I didn't get anything accomplished todayoriginal ↗
31 Jan 2013
I'm sure there's a logical explanation for it. I just don't know what it is.original ↗
29 Jan 2013
Doctor Who Definitionsoriginal ↗
28 Jan 2013
This is my whole lifeoriginal ↗
27 Jan 2013
This isn't a real post. It's just stuff that won't fit on twitter.original ↗
24 Jan 2013
Valentine's Day for Under-Achieversoriginal ↗
23 Jan 2013
This scale is an asshole.original ↗
22 Jan 2013
Ah, family.original ↗
20 Jan 2013
One does not simply walk into Mordor and see an angry vagina.original ↗
15 Jan 2013
There are actual holes in the rubber seal from the cats chewing on it. There's not a warranty for that, by the way.original ↗
14 Jan 2013
Sometimes your friends totally get you. And that's occasionally a good thing. I'm not entirely sure in this case.original ↗
10 Jan 2013
I'm huge and/or hated in Germanyoriginal ↗
8 Jan 2013
And you still haven't found what you're searching for. Because my blog got in your way.original ↗
6 Jan 2013
In The Libraryoriginal ↗
2 Jan 2013

2012

Why I shouldn’t be allowed on pinterest. (Also, if you made one of these and want me to delete it or link to you just tell me.)original ↗
31 Dec 2012
Astronomy classes ruined my sense of romanceoriginal ↗
26 Dec 2012
They so know meoriginal ↗
24 Dec 2012
UPDATED: Have yourself a merry little Christmasoriginal ↗
20 Dec 2012
Today and foreveroriginal ↗
18 Dec 2012
I swear this isn’t directed at anyone. It’s totally okay to not like my cat pictures. I salute you, cat pic haters.original ↗
17 Dec 2012
But is it Art? (No. It’s Hunter S. Thomcat.)original ↗
13 Dec 2012
A dream within a dream is not always as romantic as it sounds.original ↗
12 Dec 2012
STALEMATEoriginal ↗
10 Dec 2012
The first part of this will only make sense if you’ve finished my book. So go buy my book. Now. I’ll wait.original ↗
9 Dec 2012
I usually just ignore these but tonight I was bored.original ↗
7 Dec 2012
On knowing your weaknesses, and loving themoriginal ↗
6 Dec 2012
I’m workingoriginal ↗
5 Dec 2012
Elves are assholes.original ↗
4 Dec 2012
I suspect I’ve set a record for not being chosen to be on game showsoriginal ↗
2 Dec 2012
UPDATED: James Garfield for Sainthoodoriginal ↗
29 Nov 2012
Not sure if this is a hoax but I’m posting it anyway because this is a humor blog and not a legitimate news source like Fox.original ↗
28 Nov 2012
It’s probably not racist. Or possibly it’s racist to assume it might be racist. I’m sort of fucked either way.original ↗
27 Nov 2012
Victor says it’s probably Italian for “cup”. Victor has no imagination.original ↗
25 Nov 2012
Oh. What?original ↗
23 Nov 2012
She’s so mine it’s kind of painful. For both of us.original ↗
21 Nov 2012
Three-wayoriginal ↗
20 Nov 2012
Thanks, Youtubeoriginal ↗
18 Nov 2012
This isn’t a real postoriginal ↗
14 Nov 2012
FUCKING CALM DOWN, AMERICA.original ↗
13 Nov 2012
Cute as a button?original ↗
11 Nov 2012
I love the police except for when they’re arresting meoriginal ↗
8 Nov 2012
Next class: How to keep bees with handgunsoriginal ↗
7 Nov 2012
Everything I know about Gypsies I learned from reality TV shows and The Hunchback of Notre Dame.original ↗
6 Nov 2012
And now I want ribs.original ↗
3 Nov 2012
I’m fine now. No worries. Plus, it was like a big pillow. A big, annoying, itchy pillow.original ↗
2 Nov 2012
No time to properly title this.original ↗
31 Oct 2012
Happy Halloweirdoriginal ↗
31 Oct 2012
Hold me closer, Tony Danzaoriginal ↗
29 Oct 2012
Do-it-yourself cat costumeoriginal ↗
27 Oct 2012
I’m slowly being murdered by my own faceoriginal ↗
25 Oct 2012
Just to answer your question in advance, I have a lot of small wigs because I thought they’d fit the dead weasels but then it turned out they were slightly too large and I hate returning things.original ↗
23 Oct 2012
Worst mittens everoriginal ↗
21 Oct 2012
And then I had an accidental lesbian encounter at the moviesoriginal ↗
20 Oct 2012
And then I was murdered. (This will be eerie if I really end up murdered this week.)original ↗
17 Oct 2012
It can’t *not* be sharedoriginal ↗
16 Oct 2012
Strange bedfellowsoriginal ↗
14 Oct 2012
Oh, autocorrectoriginal ↗
11 Oct 2012
Skanky-weenoriginal ↗
8 Oct 2012
He’s the silent killer. Like carbon monoxide.original ↗
7 Oct 2012
I don’t need this. Literally.original ↗
4 Oct 2012
Hello. Did you send me a box of dead hamster?original ↗
2 Oct 2012
UPDATED: Go break a law (in a culturally literate way)original ↗
30 Sept 2012
Is it normal to have this much blood in your ears?original ↗
29 Sept 2012
Gandalf, Dumbledore and Donald Sutherland are all the same person in my head.original ↗
25 Sept 2012
This isn’t a real postoriginal ↗
22 Sept 2012
Sometimes prisons can be beautifuloriginal ↗
20 Sept 2012
FURIOUSLY HAPPYoriginal ↗
19 Sept 2012
I rinse them out first. Stop judging me.original ↗
18 Sept 2012
Called on account of rainoriginal ↗
17 Sept 2012
Texas…never change. But stop trying to kill me if possible.original ↗
16 Sept 2012
UPDATED: Dare Greatly. But don’t get caught shoplifting.original ↗
13 Sept 2012
Victor doesn’t understand family dynamicsoriginal ↗
11 Sept 2012
Today and foreveroriginal ↗
10 Sept 2012
Put me on Pintrest, bitches. My nails look FABULOUS.original ↗
9 Sept 2012
I think I’m part Vogonoriginal ↗
7 Sept 2012
I don’t think it’s even humanly possible to fart in front of Katie Couric.original ↗
6 Sept 2012
Like finding out that you get a free trip to the North Pole but Santa is dead when you get thereoriginal ↗
4 Sept 2012
Nothing, really.original ↗
2 Sept 2012
I did a book signing and then bought some snow tiresoriginal ↗
31 Aug 2012
I’m probably going to hell for this one.original ↗
29 Aug 2012
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