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2017

Laika Week, part III: Frankly, he's done rather well for a kid with pronounced, disabling ricketsoriginal ↗
21 Mar 2017
Well, at least it explains Ben Carsonoriginal ↗
15 Mar 2017
Laika Week, part II: Aggie—my name was Aggieoriginal ↗
14 Mar 2017
Laika Week, part I: Cute as a buttonoriginal ↗
13 Mar 2017
The road to unwellvilleoriginal ↗
3 Mar 2017
Something robustoriginal ↗
28 Feb 2017
2016: I saw it happen! Don't tell me it didn't happen!original ↗
27 Feb 2017
Reviews from gulag: Late-winter cleaningoriginal ↗
27 Feb 2017
Joe Dante, part X: Fun—but in no sense civilizedoriginal ↗
25 Feb 2017
Joe Dante, part IX: The monsters are dueoriginal ↗
20 Feb 2017
That's right, I'm Best-At-Teamwork Manoriginal ↗
17 Feb 2017
Joe Dante, part VII: Adequate voyageoriginal ↗
13 Feb 2017
I swear to God, if I was flying this thing we'd be home by noworiginal ↗
10 Feb 2017
As previously established, that was when I was carrying youoriginal ↗
5 Feb 2017
And, brother, she means anyoriginal ↗
26 Jan 2017
Hedwig and the angry witchoriginal ↗
24 Jan 2017
He hit me, mother, he hit me hard, but it didn't hurt—it felt like a kissoriginal ↗
20 Jan 2017
Without a dream in my heart; without a love of my ownoriginal ↗
13 Jan 2017
I'm letting life hit me until it gets tiredoriginal ↗
6 Jan 2017

2016

Cimmerian Week, part V: Hey, maybe all this movie needed was a beard, and a little eyelineroriginal ↗
31 Dec 2016
A presence I've not felt since...original ↗
23 Dec 2016
Cimmerian Week, part IV: And this story shall also be toldoriginal ↗
19 Dec 2016
Cimmerian Week, part III: You're a brave girl, but danger is my trade!original ↗
12 Dec 2016
Super Week, Addendum: Leave this place, and do no harm!original ↗
9 Dec 2016
Robert Zemeckis, part XX: Stop saying "Casablanca"original ↗
1 Dec 2016
You can't expect a demigod to beat a decapodoriginal ↗
27 Nov 2016
Reviews from gulag: The cover story we're going with is "borough-sized gas leak"original ↗
23 Nov 2016
So now when the aliens come, they're going to talk to Donald Trump, and maybe you should just think about that for five seconds if you didn't vote for Clinton on Tuesday, you stupid, useless fuckoriginal ↗
13 Nov 2016
Lost horizonoriginal ↗
7 Nov 2016
Census Bloodbath: And then it just ends, with her and Falkor flying off into the sunset—it was weirdoriginal ↗
1 Nov 2016
Census Bloodbath: Hit me, hit me, hit me, hit me with those laser beeeeeamsoriginal ↗
31 Oct 2016
Census Bloodbath: A dangerous methodoriginal ↗
30 Oct 2016
Joe Dante, part VI: It's a town full of losers, and we're pulling out of here to winoriginal ↗
26 Oct 2016
Joe Dante, part V: After all, the only thing that any 21 year old man, who already owns one dog and lives in his family's attic, could ever want for Christmas is a surprise high-maintenance petoriginal ↗
24 Oct 2016
Cimmerian Week, part II: "And I suppose nothing hurts you." "Only pain!"original ↗
21 Oct 2016
Reviews from gulag: Tom and the Hologramsoriginal ↗
17 Oct 2016
Cimmerian Week, part I: The riddle of steeloriginal ↗
14 Oct 2016
Joe Dante, part IV: Altered beastoriginal ↗
12 Oct 2016
Joe Dante, part III: The music that expresses the culture, the refinement, and the polite grace of the present dayoriginal ↗
3 Oct 2016
When Jaws dies, nobody cryoriginal ↗
26 Sept 2016
Joe Dante, part II: Lost riveroriginal ↗
24 Sept 2016
Joe Dante, part I: If it's a good picture, it's a Miracleoriginal ↗
24 Sept 2016
Reviews from gulag: Komedy round-up!original ↗
19 Sept 2016
There is a place where dreams surviveoriginal ↗
16 Sept 2016
The Coens, part I: What I know about is Texas, and down here, you're on your ownoriginal ↗
12 Sept 2016
I'm not even ovulating, you idiotoriginal ↗
6 Sept 2016
Reviews from gulag: It's been a year since I haven't hit double-digit updates in a month, and, God knows, upwards of four people must be relying on meoriginal ↗
1 Sept 2016
Super Week, part V: This is an imaginary story... Aren't they all?original ↗
25 Aug 2016
Super Week, part IV: Global thermonuclear waroriginal ↗
23 Aug 2016
Super Week, part III: Superdickoriginal ↗
22 Aug 2016
Super Week, part II: So this is Planet Houstonoriginal ↗
18 Aug 2016
We killed you once already, damn you!original ↗
16 Aug 2016
Super Week, part I: Doomed planet, desperate scientists, last hope, kindly coupleoriginal ↗
12 Aug 2016
Play "Freebird"!original ↗
7 Aug 2016
Yes, he died for your sins, too (but, if we're being honest, mostly Batman's)original ↗
6 Aug 2016
And then Vin Diesel shows up and KICKS HER ASS (just kidding, but that would've been more fun)original ↗
2 Aug 2016
Reviews from gulag: 2016 almost got away from me, but I was too quick for itoriginal ↗
27 Jul 2016
If "the summer's best swarm of CGI" doesn't sound like a pullquote, it's because it shouldn'toriginal ↗
27 Jul 2016
The film that J.R. shot (until he was absolutely, positively, 100% sure it was dead)original ↗
24 Jul 2016
The man, the myth, the surlinessoriginal ↗
22 Jul 2016
Code Pinkoriginal ↗
21 Jul 2016
But at least they didn't bring Harold Ramis back as a CGI ghost, even though you can be completely certain that somebody wanted tooriginal ↗
16 Jul 2016
Cardboard Science: A real piece of the skyoriginal ↗
14 Jul 2016
"Be careful driving home—because Christine is out there!"original ↗
12 Jul 2016
Pywokinesisoriginal ↗
8 Jul 2016
Steven Spielberg, part infinity: Steven Spielbergoriginal ↗
7 Jul 2016
Steven Spielberg, part XXXVI: Clearly, snozzcumbers do not offer adequate nutrition for the growing giantoriginal ↗
6 Jul 2016
F.T.: The Flatulent Terrestrialoriginal ↗
4 Jul 2016
Beauty isn't everything, it's the only thingoriginal ↗
1 Jul 2016
What goes up, must come downoriginal ↗
30 Jun 2016
Welcome to Earthoriginal ↗
28 Jun 2016
Steven Spielberg, part XXXV: Everyone will hate me, but at least I'll loseoriginal ↗
26 Jun 2016
Water, the source of all lifeoriginal ↗
25 Jun 2016
When they say, "The sun sucks," you just go, "Yeah, fuck the sun"original ↗
24 Jun 2016
Cardboard Science: Take that, George Washington!original ↗
23 Jun 2016
Hello, I'm Sigourney Weaveroriginal ↗
23 Jun 2016
Steven Spielberg, part XXXIV: For example, to prepare for the role of Abraham Lincoln, Day-Lewis was actually elected President of the United Statesoriginal ↗
19 Jun 2016
Steven Spielberg, part XXXIII: Fantastic beasts and where to find themoriginal ↗
18 Jun 2016
Steven Spielberg, part XXXII: Blistering barnacles!original ↗
15 Jun 2016
There's not enough garlic butter in the worldoriginal ↗
12 Jun 2016
Give my regards to King Tut, assholeoriginal ↗
9 Jun 2016
Steven Spielberg, part XXXI: The Old Indiana Jones Chroniclesoriginal ↗
9 Jun 2016
Cardboard Science: Do you think you'll be able to respect a husband that probably pulled the scientific boner of all time?original ↗
7 Jun 2016
Steven Spielberg, part XXX: But killing Palestinians isn't exactly cheaporiginal ↗
4 Jun 2016
At least everyone agrees that the third film in a series is always the worst!original ↗
31 May 2016
Eros & aristosoriginal ↗
29 May 2016
Cardboard Science: If God's a-comin', He ought to make it by thenoriginal ↗
25 May 2016
Cardboard Science: The wheel in the sky keeps on turningoriginal ↗
24 May 2016
Cardboard Science: I married Colonel Kurtz!original ↗
24 May 2016
Steven Spielberg, part XXIX: Vast and cool and unsympatheticoriginal ↗
21 May 2016
Cardboard Science: "What are these Martians?" "What are we?" I answered, clearing my throatoriginal ↗
20 May 2016
Class war weekend, part IIoriginal ↗
17 May 2016
Robert Zemeckis, part infinity: Robert Zemeckisoriginal ↗
16 May 2016
Robert Zemeckis, part XIX: Welcome to the coup!original ↗
16 May 2016
Robert Zemeckis, part XVIII: This film was brought to you by the Cocaine Counciloriginal ↗
16 May 2016
Class war weekend, part Ioriginal ↗
15 May 2016
Robert Zemeckis, part XVII: Why couldn't we have just done a feature-length Bloom County cartoon instead?original ↗
12 May 2016
Carboard Science: Now that's a deep impact!original ↗
11 May 2016
Robert Zemeckis, part XVI: There's more of gravy than of grave about youoriginal ↗
10 May 2016
Robert Zemeckis, part XV: Ripper, tearer, slasher, gouger, and so forthoriginal ↗
9 May 2016
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